What is communication? How do we communicate?
at this point, i am anticipating COM students to flip through their notes and giving me all the communication models that were taught (and tested for our quiz!) as your answers. but really, lets be parsimonious (yes, a new word i learn from psy class). Communication in its simplest form would be the interaction between two or more human beings. or if you like to talk to animals because that happens to be your thing then so be it. But there's SO many ways of interacting. lets just talk about interaction of humans via face-to-face. because essentially, thats how humans communicate. People can live without communicating through technology (yes people, we can) but it is IMPOSSIBLE for people to not communicate face-to-face. unless you live in another planet and the population of human beings there is one, assuming no other life forms that are as intelligent as us. okae, pardon the idol of the cave tendancies.
So, in a face to face interaction, how exactly do we communicate? According to Albert Mehrabian, a pioneer researcher of body language in the 1950s, in a face to face conversation, the total impact of a message is about 7% verbal, 38% vocal (tone of voice, inflection and other sounds) and 55% non-verbal. this is also supported by anthropologist Ray Birdwhistell that found that the verbal component in a conversation is less than 35%! meaning,most of our communication (over 65%) is done non-verbally. So, dear readers, MIND YOUR BODY. how you move,be it your hands, legs, eyebrows or even the dialation of your pupils would subconciously be sending messages to your receivers!
Body language has often intrigued me to the highest level. i've been obsessed with self-help books that teach us to decode the body language. how to tell if someone is flirting, or lying, or uncomfortable. sure, it take years and years of practice ( for those who wrote the books, years and years of reserach) and it is never always accurate, but to me,it is FUN and empowering. espescially when i'm right! and believe me, it has helped me in quite a bit of my life after i invest my time in it. You know how sometimes, we feel like we know something, but cant quite pin point what exactly is telling us that? IT IS BODY LANGUAGE. so technically, the truth has always been out there. it is whether you can detect it or not. exactly the reason why i like learning abt body language. it is a skill. and it is also something you can manipulate in order to bring about a certain impression from your audience.
We all, in some ways have a basic skill in decoding body language. like we can feel when someone is sad or dissappointed even when they're not saying a word. (remember this friends? silence is a form of communication) SO, why dont we polish up what is already there? go to a book store, go to search engines and find out more about body language. i assure you that, it WILL benefit your life. start empowering yourself now.
SHARE TME;
-the handshake. if a person shakes your hand with his palms facing upwards, he is being submissive or has submissive characteristic. and if its facing downwards, he is a power player. one who likes to be in control.
- basically, when the palm is exposed while interacting, it is a non-threatening gesture which usually indicates comfort or friendliness. and when palms are turned face down, it projects immediate authority. (think hitler)
- touching a stranger on their elbows for not longer than three seconds before asking a favour, would give you better response. up to three times the chances of getting what you want. (of course not ridiculous favours!)
- the eyebrow flash (moving your brows up for a split second and then dropping it down again) which we use as a 'long-distance' hello, is actually a social greeting signal used by apes and monkeys. (maybe darwin was right....haha)
tell me what are your opinions on knowing body language! useful? not useful? interesting or dull?
OR if you already know some, SHARE! what are the common body language that people use and how you interpret it? lets discuss!
joke of the day!
how do you know when a politician is lying?
-when their lips are moving.
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Body Language.
ReplyDeleteDo you know WOMEN are more receptive than men when it comes to non-verbal cues? And that like any other language, 3 words makes a sentence?
I also have been reading up on books about body language and i find it very useful. Especially in application to -coughs- seduction.I wont elaborate much on how it can be used in that field.But. I would like to highlight an issue with regards to body language.
Someone with knowledge of body language would be more aware of what is happening around him/her. But is that extra knowledge going to be used to for good or bad? Leery men who targets on the unsuspecting damsels-in-distress? Or the social worker who senses and helps his/her charge has issues which he/she keeps to himself/herself?
With regards to body language. check out NLP. Neuro Linguistic Programming.
I do know that communication can manifest itself in the form of body language, but I never knew that body language had more impact in personal interaction than speaking.
ReplyDeleteI believe that, like all forms of communication, body language is a double edged sword. Body language 'exposes' our true selves for the world to see, though at the same time, knowing how to read signs, allows us to understand another person better. True though, that you don't always read body language correctly, and this might sometimes lead to awkwardness.
Just to share, I read once that you can tell when a person is interested in a member of the opposite sex, just by looking at the eyes. It is said that the eyes dilate when sexually aroused.
and so i found this space.. Body language is an oft overlooked aspect of any interaction and communication between us homo sapiens. The writer quotes Mehrabian regarding 7%,38% and 55% rule of communication.This, I shall elaborate further is based on contradicting spoken words and body language. Its like I say, "Kamaliah is such a pretty girl" and yet first, I sound insincere and second, I start fidgeting and look away. So this is where the 7%,38% and 55% rule would kick in. Two or more are quite ambiguous in some sense. The last 55% is is body language.. Thus, you people will know that I am actually lying or lying. =) We know more about body language than we actually credit ourselves for. Enough digressing from me.
ReplyDeleteRegarding body language, we display it all the time. Well that's a major understatement cause nobody was either born Frankenstein or nobody looks like Simon Cowell when a hopeful yet musically and tone deaf contestant starts exercising his/her rights to free singing in America. But hey, Simon's face tells everything about his disinterest and if you people notice, he crosses his arms everytime a contestant destroys a perfectly beautiful song like "Unfaithful" by Rihanna. That's basic body language for you. We learn more about people and their intentions and thoughts through their body language. It starts from you are young till you grow old. A furrowed eyebrow when a girlfriend is angry her boyfriend forgets her birthday, the constant but unnoticed touch of a flirting pair of girl and boy, or boy and boy or girl and girl, the look away when a suspect is being interrogated by mr policeman, all this encompass our lives on a daily basis. Some know about it and use it to their advantage, some are not and let others use it for their own advantage.
Well, personally for me it is fun to be aware of people's body language. For a landmine of body language, just hop on the MRT and you will be amazed by the plethora of human actions. Crossed arms and legs are the most common. In a space of strangers, people tend to feel insecure as most often than not our personal space is invaded. A pair of budding couple would also make a good observation. Now now, before you people start labelling me as a freak or leering man, it takes my time away from an otherwise dreadful journey from Eunos to Boon Lay. Next time if you go for an interview, try to notice whether the interviewer mirrors your actions. If he does, he is a good and gracious interviewer. What he is doing is to put you at ease. We all know how nerve wrecking an interview is right. In addition to that, try not to betray yourself through your body language. There is a reason why the company put the interviewer there and not the coffee lady or janitor. In terms of a relationship, body language is prevalent and actually helps in knowing what your partner likes. I shall not go into details but a couple would mirror each other inadvertently. Or if you are a boy and you are going after a girl, a good indicator that she is warming up to you is when she starts exposing her neck to you. NO! Not the in your face, here take my neck and bite it(but that would be welcome wouldn't it boys?) but a rather subtle brushing of her hair to the other side. How about girls with short hair? I don't know but I'm guessing she will start brushing her hair above her ears. The ears that is facing you. =)
To cap off, body language is used as a tool for teenagers, a good gauge for capability for adults and a factor to who will inherit the family's fortunes for senior citizens. This is said if they know how to read into it. I personally enjoy knowing how to read body language to some extent.. So go out there and start observing people. You will know strangers even if they don't utter a single word to you.
P.S Those of you who know better, when a woman start arching her back, you know you are in promised land baby. =)
P.S.
Elocutionary my dear Watson. Haha.
ReplyDeleteYes, like they say : A picture speaks a thousand words.
Our most concise actions comprise of a thousand pictures.
Nuff said.
Ah, I frequently read body language to tell how comfortable a person is feeling in the midst of group activities. A very common tell-tale sign that one is either feeling uncomfortable, or feeling superior to the person they're talking to, are the crossed arms in front of the chest.
ReplyDeleteinteresting, no?
Body language is the superlative form of communication that everyone; no matter who you are and what you do-rely on most of the time.
ReplyDeleteSimple actions,like folding your arms across your chest simply tells the other party to stay away from you. This is one of the customer service taboo. (folded arms??)
Most multi-national companies, encourage their marketing and human resource staffs to take up Body Language courses.
However, in telephone, body language also plays apart.
Do you know that the customer relation officers who answers (or even counter personnel) call have a mirror in front of them to make sure they deliver a positive and welcoming gesture(over the phone).
YES, you do not see them however you hear them. With a mirror, you know how you look like and with a smile you sound different. Don't believe?
Try this; Answer the phone with a frown. Hear yourself. Do you think you sound friendly?
Now, answer the phone with a smile (genuine ones-those smile you would flash to your loved ones)
Do you think you sound different? =)
wow! thank you for all your comments. i am glad that many know a thing or two about body language! keep sharing your infos. very enriching!! thanks again for all the quality comment
ReplyDelete