Culture defines us. defines who we are, what we do and how we think.
i guess for me, culture plays a major role in my upbringing. i'm malay. malay malay. no mix.no culture crisis. you know how sometimes when you ask someone what is their race, they'll go," oh, my grandma has dutch blood, my great grand uncle is german, my grandma on my father's side is indian and my great great grandfather is portugese." interesting isn't it? how some people are so insecure about their own roots, that they have to give us every single race in the spectrum that they might possibly have. sometimes, when their answers get draggy, i'd rephrase my question and ask them, "what's the race that is written in your ic" and they'll be like.."oh..malay". total retards.
the malay culture is basically a collectivist culture. we are highly interdependent. suppose, there is a wedding function or make that ANY function that one family were to hold, everyone else would help out. the immediate family, the extended family, friends, neighbours, everyone would get involved. this is what we call "gotong- royong" . people sacrifice their energy, time and money for the benefit of the family hosting the function. we practice self sacrifice for the ingroup members. It can also be seen as having mutual sympathy for one another, where the community goes through thick and thin together. when one is short-handed, there'll always be a helping hand. there is great readiness to cooperate with ingroup mmembers.
collectively, we believe that the women are the weaker sex (something i'm still rebelling against..but i guess, thats the individualist in me) and they are to stay home, and provide necessities for their husbands and family. the malay women are known for their soft spoken personality, their grace and their submissive characters. this is well portrayed by our cultural dance, that speaks of the characteristic of a traditional malay woman. on the other hand, malay man are portrayed as strong, chivalrous brave leaders of the family who hunt and fish as a livelihood to feed his family. NO WONDER i see a trend of MCP in many malay men. hmmm. These are just some of the examples of social norms and duties that are expected of a traditional malay person and are defined by a group rather than of self.
The malay culture can be considered a high context culture where there are restricted codes and contextual cues. places much emphasis on politeness and "face-saving" takes. in the old days, when presenting themselves in front of the king or "Raja", any gestures that showed one's behind or the sole of the feet to the king is considered as disrespectful and an insult to the king. Also, in cases like maybe, premarital pregnancies, malays usually don't hold any extravagant weddings as it is seen as something shameful and a disgrace to the family's name. they will usually proceed with just a minor ceremony involving only immediate families. it can be said that malays places much value in family pride and what the community thinks of them.
in my opinion, the malay culture is rich, vibrant and ever-lasting. it holds many values like humility, pride and respect. as much as modernisation has depleted many of its beliefs, ie. gender roles, it is here to stay and still influences many of the younger generations. in our very own words, "takkan melayu hilang di dunia" which means, malays (or the culture) will never cease to exist in this world.
so tell me, what's your culture? how has it defined you? have you ever been embarrassed by your own culture? SHARE
joke of the day!
Why men are like computers. (one for the ladies!)
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter
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an enlightening piece.
ReplyDeletethe topic of culture definitely becomes more convoluted amongst Singaporeans as we are largely a city-state of immigrants, with origins from many localities within the Southeast Asian diaspora.
While asking a person a direct question of 'What is on your IC' offers much convenience and saves the lengthy explanations, I would like to qualify that for Singaporeans, the identity card was introduced for ease of colonial administration and has largely contributed to the C-M-I-O(Chinese-Malay-Indian-Others) construct in Singapore.
I am very much against the idea of 'role-play' in the Malay society. I would argue that in our current cosmopolitan context, such attributive roles are seedingly irrelevant and are a bane to the women. With equal opportunities meted out in education, women nowadays are more aware and empowered of their rights in society. Chivalry and male chauvinism are outmoded concepts.
In response to your question as to whether I am embarrassed of my culture, I am not. I think the Malay culture is a very rich one (as you mentioned), only that I am very much perturbed by the number of social problems which plague our society. Though the linkage to culture is minimal at best, the race factor still springs up and is unfortunately linked to the community.
I think 'face-saving' is a malady of the community. When problems occur, it is only right that families especially remedy the root cause and not a superficial solution that would only prevent the so-called obliteration of the 'family name'.
You should take note that some are proud of their heritage. Maybe for all the wrong and lame reasons but its just them. Cos if you what to mention bout what is stated on the ic, mine says javanese. And im proud to be one. Because of the funny dialect which i cant speak nor comprehend fully. and the interesting culture. And especially the AWESOME food. AWESOME. But for the sake of simplifying things and the social norm. If people ask me what race i am. Malay lor. Unless they look prepared to listen to a historical lecture of my roots. Yes. Grandpa. Whatever.
ReplyDeleteAnd the collectivist culture we have, is slowly diminishing. We do not practice 'gotong royong' as much as we used to. Weddings as such are seen commonly to have hired staff to cover all the miscellaneous details from serving to clearing to washing and cooking. And relatives prefer to spend time mingling and socializing in their pretty frocks than to rub a bit of elbow grease to help out. We have indeed become a selfish community. Though it is not applicable for all families. It is a rising trend. Even neighbors keep to their own affairs as showing any signs of concern may be wrongly perceived as being nosy. So much for exchanging dishes during festive season.
Even etiquette is no longer present. Instead morals can be questioned when it comes to our youths of today. Face saving is a thing of the past to them. Instead they are proud to be young unwed teenage parents. It is a worrying trend that premarital pregnancies are becoming a norm. The very least they can do is practice safe sex. Guys. Condoms can be bought OVER THE COUNTER at any 7-11 CONVENIENCE store at anytime. Even unearthly hours. And they are everywhere.
And men have always been the pillar of strength. Regardless of race. Yes behind every great man is a woman. NO denying it. But behind. Not in front. Support side. Sidelines. Need i go on?
So. What culture? What pride? Is there anything left that we can show? Melayu akan pupus kerana anak watan yang lupa daratan.
melayu akan pupus kerana anak watan lupa daratan. translation: the malay culture will be extinct because youngsters lose their roots. (okay lah, im not a good translator, but there's the gist of it)
ReplyDeleteit is indeed easy to go boo-ing on the sidelines. but i still stand firm that i am proud of my culture even as Adri have mentioned, that many societal probs links back to our community. because every community will have their ups and down. and its how we deal with the downs that shows the strength of our community.
it does not mean that as more and more malay youths forget their roots and tend to adopt the western behaviors, we should give up defending our culture and lose hope in everything that we believe in. we should not adopt that 'half empty' attitude. there is still more to our culture to show than those negativity you've mentioned.
jangan kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga. translation: let not a drop of dye, spoil a barrel of milk.
i have a response to make for egotrippinhippie.
ReplyDeletei find it essentially unjustifiable that you blatantly disregard the role of the women in society. women are never meant for the sidelines, well at least not now.
i view with revulsion your claim that men have always been the pillar of strength. you sound very absolutist. marriages will never degenerate if the men are able to espouse your so-called 'pillar of strength' role.
and incidentally, if they need so much support, then i do wonder how they survive on their own, as individuals? i doubt so.
while im not collectively denouncing all the males in society, i do feel i have the responsibility as a woman to recorrect the warped paradigms of apparent MCPs such as you.
thank you.
three cheers and three cheers and three cheers for feminist! hoogashaka woosh! hahah. i'm loving this. =)
ReplyDeleteFeminism is a lost cause! LOL!
ReplyDeleteMen and their feats and achievements collectively outweigh those of women.
It is historically documented. ;)
Coffee and lotsa ciggs.
Cheers,
Khai
That was because women then were deprived of education and therefore awareness.
ReplyDeleteThe status quo is changing Khai.
If you are politically aware, China is upsetting the current balance of power once unilaterally dominated by the U.S.
Women are capable of doing the same. Anything can happen.
Ooo whats that I see in the trashcan? It spells e-g-o!